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Thursday, June 30, 2005

today
was not a nice day
today morning
was not a nice morning
my that one come without me knowing
and den the cramps came too without me knowing
den
lessons were alright
changed seats
and i'm sitting at the back
not that bad
but i think i will fall asleep in lessons
teehee X)
den went for the mrs fong meeting thingy
eeks
dun reali know her very well
but kinda sad thats she leaving ba
poots
den i knocked my somewhere-near-the-tailbone-but-again-nearer-to-me-waist place against the table
coz suipheng and nickO were pulling me
and he suddenly released me
hohohoho
it wasn't pain
i think the part just suffered shock
and i just realised that its the same place where i injured myself years ago while attempting to do a qianruanfa years ago
okieee
den i wasn't in the very pleasant mood for i dunno what reasons
maybe coz its my that one
den again
maybe coz i was thinking bout loads of stuffs
nvmm
came home and watched madgascar
teehee X)
nice wilson lent me de
tml he's going to lend me initial d
bleaghss
i think i'm typing my entry in a very weird way today
i dunno
i tink i'm getting a little too dumb liaoo


i dunno what you call this now
mixed feelings?
its quite cool to see you guys having so much fun together
den again
it hurts coz i felt that i could be part of it
then again
its me who i think i can fit in
but i know i can't
i dun belong to the same grp as you guys
things don't come in pair
its not as if everything's still in pair
i dunno what i want
a friend who's there to just play and joke
or a friend who allows me to listen to your problems
i'm just thinking
sometimes
i'm neither of this both to you
i'm just another person
who lames around with you
i dunno
because of this
suddenly i feel i dun belong anywhere
i know my friends been dere for me
but i just feel lost
i dont seem attatched to any single place
i just feel like i'm floating
float here float there
den again
why do people open to you
when you are not the one who have the key to their hearts
why do people send wrong signals
or am i stupid enough to decipher it wrongly
i'm tired of myself being envious of the chio ppl out there
i'm tired of myself being envious of the nice and sociable ppl out there
why do i always judge myself?
why do i like thinking bout ppl who wun care bout me
but it hurts everytime i think about the things we are losing between us
why do i alway have these thoughts when i promised to nvr be depressed again
why
stop locking me out of these double doors
i can't find me
i can't find myself
i've lost it
i've lost the huimin i used to know
i think i'm crap
get a life huimin
you just dun belong dere





I

AM

MAO!